Wait... Who?

Yeah, I heard you loud and clear.  (That’s… what… she said?  Wait… what.)

Dustin Rowles.  That name probably won’t ring a bell, unless you’re an avid follower and reader of Pajiba.  And even if you were, you still might be confused as to who that is, because truthfully, who looks at the author of an article nowadays?  I sure do, I’m not THAT lazy.  Correction: I’ll read the post first, and if it’s good then I’ll bother looking at who might have written it.

So who’s Dustin and what’s so great about him?  All I know is that I am a fan of his writing.  It’s formally opinionative, impressively dense, and clearly clever.  If he wasn’t a writer, he would probably be a professional stand up comic… or a pedophile.  His intro hooks are phenomenally colorful, completely baits your attention and makes you want to listen to what he might have to say just to judge for yourself if this person is blowing smoke or not.  Then the second line snatches your wit, throws it to the ground, drop kicks it with his own humor, and throws it back in your face.  “Did you see what I just did?!  I Eternal-Sunshine-of-the-Spotless-Mind-the-shit out of you, you just don’t know it yet.”

He’s no Charlie Kaufman – nor is he close – but he sure knows how to take the audience on a journey with his writing.  Each line is very rhythmic and melodic exhibiting his playfulness and ease with matching up words romantically.  It starts off very formal with a stern critical scale, still a uniform opinion, but in a staccato manner.  Then after the intermission between the paragraphs, he begins act two – in-my-(humble)-opinion mode.  Basically it’s a guide of critical analysis for dummies.  Pure entertainment, passionate, and energetic.

Like a musical, you get caught up in his whimsical, quirky, offbeat tone of writing.  His writing is so buttered with solid opinion that you want to regurgitate his own damn words and pass it off as your own to anyone who asks your thoughts on that particular movie.  I’m pretty sure I’ve done that a couple of times… I’m not too sure.  Maybe I deleted that from my memory.  For all I know, Dustin Rowles could be a pen name, like Mark Twain, or he could actually be a she.  Like when you meet a male Ashley… that’s always weird.  Ashley is definitely not a unisex name.